I grumble, I protest, I rave, I rant and yes, I am not ashamed to admit that in weak and emotional moments I cry too! But in the depth of my heart there is a sad and sinking feeling that all this is in vain! I can not do anything to change the way things are going in my beloved Homeland. And then I realize that my pen is my only tool! At least I can give a path to my emotions, share with my readers my pain, my anger and my frustration at the non stop downslide in nearly every aspect of life in Pakistan! Being a stay at home mother and grandmother and also a senior citizen, my ageing body and mind hampers me from any active participation in the state of affairs; this is the only small contribution I can make. It may be a drop in the ocean, but deep down I firmly believe that eventually every such drop will bring about a tsunami of change!

Every new incident of terror, arson, cold blooded target killing, corruption and sheer negligence bring a flurry of troubling questions to my mind. Is this the price we and our coming generation pay for loving our country? Who are these people who have unleashed a reign of terror on the common (and patriotic) Pakistani? Why are the people who are supposed to trace them and give them exemplary punishment a total failure in their jobs (for which they are paid hefty amounts after fleecing the law abiding taxpayer)?  When will the situation change for the better and this hopeless situation end? When will our politicians end their race in corruption and greed and rise to the occasion and try to control things which are getting out of hand day by day? When will the sufferings of the man on the street abate?  How can the heartless people who are killing innocent and unarmed fellow countrymen dare to call themselves Muslims? Although I can find no answer to my questions, the intense pain, the deep anger and the sense of frustration abates a bit when I express my feelings of utter hopelessness!

I am no political analyst, nor a religious scholar, so like every common Pakistani I can only ask, nay, demand for solutions! Maybe someday, someone will come up with an answer to my queries but at the moment I, like all sensitive and patriotic Pakistanis seem to be groping in the dark! We are walking in a tunnel which seems to be endless, our souls so tired we feel like dropping down dead, but the vague hope that there is bound to be light at the end of this dark tunnel keep us dragging our bleeding feet on!

11th January..2013

I had started this blog a few days back, but the slow and lazy writer that I am, had left it unfinished. But the bomb blasts in Quetta have brought me back to my computer. Today is a black day in Pakistan’s history! And I am sad to say that we do not have days like these once in a while! The bomb blasts in Quetta which has left more than a hundred people dead and a lot more injured has opened a new set of questions in my mind. Who are these people who are targeting the Hazara Shias in Balochistan? Are we all not human beings, and then Muslims before we are Sunnis or Shias? When will the high-ups in Baluchistan wake up from their deep slumber to stop these killings? Are they a part of this conspiracy and deliberately turning a deaf ear and blind eyes to the ethnic cleansing of these innocent people? The list of questions goes on and on and I just grope in pain for answers!

13th January…2013

The relatives of the bomb blast victims have taken a seemingly strange step. As a protest for the killings of their dear ones, they have decided to hold a dharna(sit-in) at the site of the blasts, with the coffins of the deceased! They are demanding that the army take over the control of Quetta and the inefficient and corrupt government of CM Raisani sacked! The voice of their peaceful but painful protest is reaching out to every sensible and sensitive Pakistani, waves of protest are spreading country wide as sit ins are being held in many cities in all the four provinces of Pakistan!

The unburied coffins of the victims of the gruesome carnage in Quetta seem to ask more questions? What was our fault? Why are we being targeted so cruelly? Why have the security services and the government failed to give us protection?

As I try to go back to sleep after my Fajr prayers, my mind goes back to the people out there, braving the freezing temperatures and the agony and pain of sitting with their unburied dead! As I pull my blanket closer, my ageing body seems to shiver at these disturbing thoughts. I feel restless! And pushing my blanket aside, I try again to complete this blog.

 My heart goes out to you, the relatives of the innocent people killed in the Twin explosions. It must be breaking your hearts to sit out with the dead bodies of your loved ones, bravely facing the bitter cold and rain as well as the emotional trauma you are going through!

14th January ..2013

After the three days long painful sit in, a day of mourning which has brought most of the country to a standstill, the government finally has to give in! Although the prime Minister had reached Quetta earlier in the day, he did not seem to have the courage to go out to the protestors. Media coverages of him, sitting comfortably in the warmth of the heaters in the Governor House, holding talks with concerned people, while the young and old, men, women and children were shown shivering in the intense cold, only added insult to injury!

Finally late in the night, he went to offer his condolences to the bereaved, not looking very comfortable as he hummed and hawed during his speech, and had to be prompted again and again by the Information Minister Kaira. He finally announced that the demands of the protestors have been met. There would be Governor rule in Baluchistan, immediate compensation for those who have been killed (as if money could compensate for their lives) and free treatment for the injured.

And the rest is history!

Today there is only one question which keeps on tugging at my heart! Is this the beginning of the end?

I hope and pray this time the country wide protests, and the painful sacrifice of the mourners of not burying their dead unless their demands are met, do not go in vain and the moment of change we all have been waiting for has finally arrived! Maybe I will at last get an answer to the questions which make my heart bleed and keep me sleepless at nights! May be we have reached the end of the dark tunnel, even if we are on our hands and feet, but being the resilient nation we are, we are bound to bounce back!

Long live Pakistan!



14 thoughts on “THE BEGINNING OF THE END?

  1. Thank you so much for this post Mam because you have rightly described what many of us are feeling but we are just so shattered right now that can’t even find the motivation to write about it. I understand what you have gone through and many of such Pakistanis had sleepless nights after the Quetta incident. It was so so hard to describe what I felt after watching those mourners with the bodies in chilled cold, crying and asking for justice. I just pray with all my heart that May God bless our nation.

    • I disagree Ahmer… why this guilt????? Majority of us are simple patriotic Pakistanis who can do whatever is possible to improve the conditions in Pakistan! The looters are only a smalll percentage who have plundered our homeland to their hearts’ fill!

      • Here lies the guilt:
        …simple patriotic Pakistanis who CAN do whatever possible… We CAN but NEVER or SELDOM do anything…
        We live in a democratic country. The laws tell me that I have a RIGHT to vote; I beg to differ: I believe that voting and electing a government is not a right but an obligation, a responsibility. I just turned 18, and soon would be on the electoral list; I would hopefully discharge this duty to the best of my ability.
        The leaders are corrupt: but is is us who have elected them; they openly resort to corruption because we do not raise our voices against them; since we do not raise our voices against them and turn a blind eye to their evil deeds, we’re equally guilty of their sins, both morally and legally.
        We call this country our homeland, yet we allow our home to be plundered.

        Picture this: On one hand the government is so indifferent about this genocide that it takes them days’ long protest to give in to the justified demand of the victims. On the other hand a Canadian citizen with a shady character and background who took an oath to be loyal to Canada and denounced allegiance to any other country, comes to Pakistan, the very next day he tells the government of my country to do what ever he wants, and then leads a march to the federal capital to apparently overthrow the democratically elected government? Has it come to this? Even the courts, I must say, have no authority whatsoever to overthrow a government elected by the people.

        It is we the people who have elected this government by our right, and it is our right to VOTE them out of office when their 5 year mandate ends, which is due to end in a matter of a few weeks.

      • I understand your feelings Ahmer but can you say that the elections which brought this government to power was FAIR or TRANSPARENT? They come for votes with big promises but never care to go back to see or improve the plight of people in their constituencies. Every MNA and MPA is provided with hefty sums to work for his/her respective constituencies but I wonder where it is spent! or is it an open secret? I am not for the Canadian National you have mentioned, but I feel as a nation, we have been pushed against the wall by our greedy, corrupt and inefficient politicians. Agar in ko 5 saal aur mil gaye tou samjho Pakistan ki CHUTTI!!!!

      • Exactly my point! You see, our judiciary has become so fiercely independent; this took time. Our election commission too, is now more independent than ever. These greedy people need to be held accountable for; but no one questions them. These Parliamentarians and MPAs are our representatives, yes REPRESENTATIVES. They represent US! Isn’t it our fault that those whom we choose to represent us, are representing us in this way?
        We are tax payers, we have a right to know how and where they spent our money. Even the Pakistani laws make our elected representatives and government employees answerable to us when we question them. That’s what we need to do!

      • You seem to be a very good debatist Ahmer, and I feel a smile creeping on my face as I read your comments! Beta, yahan ye sab kuch kitabon mein hota hai, aslyat ka chehra bht bhayanak hai! Didnt you read about the young man who was killed brutally last month only because he was reacting to the teasing of his sister? Let’s hope that our masses are educated so that an awareness about rights and duties is created in a perfect balance is created!

      • Thank you for the compliments 🙂 I understand the realities; we have to face them and improve them. The western democracies took a few centuries to reach the points where they are. India is on the highway of progress too. We need a long term planning and patience to get our country back on track. Like the case of Shahzeb Khan (the guy brutally killed in Karachi); Jessica Lal was murdered in Dehli by the son of the Chief Minister of Hariyana in India in front of over 300 witnesses. The killer was declared innocent by the trial court, but public protests and pressure forced the Delhi High Court to take up the matter, rehear the case and justice was delivered. This was possible because the people stood up against injustice, that’s what we are doing in Shahzeb’s case and we need to do in all other cases as well.

      • In the earlier half of the 19th century, a large portion of American population were slaves, they did not get equal rights until after the 2nd world war. Till the 1980’s New York City was plagued with gang wars and street battles far worse then the case in Layari, Karachi. The US federal government stepped in only after the people stood up and said that it was enough! It took time and efforts to improve. We cannot expect to bring about a change in days or weeks. We need to stand up to injustices and hold the guilty accountable under law. Some time back I heard a saying that said something like this: “Problem doesn’t lie in the evils of the few but in the silence of the many” True, isn’t it?

    • Very nice indeed
      After reading all the comments I must say I agree with Ahmer, bro you are one hell of a debater keep it up!
      Excellent article by the author, very commendable effort!

  2. And Ahmer I admit that your arguments are valid… all educated, enlightened and sensitive Pakistanis are striving for change within their own means and limitations.. I only hope and pray that people as talented and dedicatred as you control the helm of affairs in my country very soon! And I also pray that I live to see that day!

  3. Reblogged this on Yasmin Elahi and commented:

    The story is the same , only the names and faces have changed. January 2013 saw the heart breaking sit in of shattered protesters who defied the blood curdling weather and refused to bury their dead until their demands for justice were met. The story has been repated in January 2014, and the protest sit in has ended only a couple of hours back. Raja Parwez Ashraf has been replaced by Nawaz Sharif and the same tall promises have been made to convince the bereaved to bury their dead ones. They say History repeats itself, but I am hoping against hope that it does not do so this time. It is high time our government rises to the crying need of the hour and takes concrete and firm steps to stop the endless brutal killings going on and on and on!!!

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