ENDEAR YOURSELVES!

Attitude: Endear yourself!

By Yasmin Elahi
April 3rd, 2010 

All of us want to be popular among our peers, relatives, teachers and all the people around us. But often we see that some children are more popular than others. Friends and relatives are attracted to them, teachers have a soft corner for them and peers respect them (however grudgingly). 

Have you ever tried to find out what qualities endear these children to everyone? It is their good manners, their etiquette or behaviour and consideration for the feelings of others which gives them this popularity. Here are some important ways to win the hearts of friends and relatives.

Always remember to say `Please` and `Thank you`. When you are asking for something, if you say please, even if it is a small favour, it appears that you are making a request rather than a demand. In the same way, when you receive a gift, when someone gives you a compliment or even when someone steps aside to let you pass, saying thanks is an important rule of good manners. It shows that you are grateful for the gift, compliment and consideration, and you appreciate the person who has given it to you. It also shows courtesy on your behalf. 

Never forget to say `Sorry`. Although some children may find saying `sorry` quite difficult, it is a basic aspect of good manners and a quality which will quickly endear you to everyone. If you have hurt someone (physically or emotionally), forgot to fulfil a promise, or misbehaved with an elder, `sorry` is the magic word which wipes out all ill feelings. 

When you are in a public place, it may be a doctor`s waiting room, a supermarket or a restaurant, show your respect for your elders by opening doors for them and offering them your seat if there is no place for them to sit. Most of us are too busy in our lives to pay attention to old people and we seem to forget that they often feel lonely. A kind word to them, enquiring about their health (or any other problem) and even listening to them attentively would brighten up their day and will go a far way in winning their hearts.

Never let a discussion turn into a quarrel. We all have different opinions on every matter and the rule to remember is that everyone has a right to his/her own opinion. Often we see an argument turn into a heated debate. Wait for your turn when you are having a discussion and do not try to raise your voice over others to get your point through. It is healthy to argue with friends and peers but the discussion should be polite and informative. Do not forget that difference in views is sometimes due to the diversity of race, traditions or religion. Show your respect to the other one`s views even if you do not agree with him/her.

An important rule of good manners is never to interrupt someone when he/she is speaking. A patient listener is more liked than an ardent speaker. Especially when someone older than you is talking to you, listen attentively and answer politely. Be courteous to your elders and treat them with respect. Even if you are irritated, never speak rudely to anyone. Remember that a smiling face is more popular than one with a frown.

Always be ready to help. You may be better at some subjects in school, so helping out your class fellows if they are having difficulties, would make you a well liked peer. Whenever it is possible, offer a helping hand to your elders. Carrying a load for someone in a supermarket, helping an old person to cross the road, or lending a helping hand to your mother in house hold chores, are gestures which show that you care and would definitely endear you to their hearts.

Be a good sport. Some children tend to turn nasty if they lose a game. Remember that there always has to be a winner and a loser in a game. If you win, do not boast or degrade your opponent. And if you lose, do not sulk; accept your defeat graciously and congratulate your opponent open heartedly. The time you spent enjoying the game should be more important than the fact that you won or lost it. 
Good manners, consideration for the people around us and proper etiquette of behaviour indicate a good upbringing and are a mark of a respectable social background. So mind your manners and happily watch the graph of your popularity rise!

The list of do’s and dont’s is never ending, but the above mentioned are only a few tips to guide you how to endear yourself to the people around you. Good luck!

 

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IF I LOVE ALLAH….!

 

                I am in the middle of an important discussion, attending a wedding reception, watching an interesting talk show (or play) on the TV, enjoying a long drive or just hanging out with friends laughing and joking, when my cell starts to beeps!

                “We have started to recite Kalma (or Durood or Ayat e Kareema) 100,000 times. Please recite ten times and forward to all your contacts. Do not break the chain, as we must finish this today!”       My reply usually is, “This is not the proper way to recite a Wazeefa! We should recite with full concentration and fervour and also in a proper atmosphere”!

                   Every day I receive a number of forwarded text messages about Hadith of our Holy Prophet, Quranic Ayats or an incident from Islamic History! And in the end the sender has the cheek to write….. is msg ko itna phelaao jitna tum Allah ya Nabi SAW se mohabbat karte ho! (Spread this message as much as you love Allah and the Prophet PBUH.) Or it would taunt, “I know that 99% people will not forward this message, if you are a true Muslim, be among the 1% who will forward it! And this one is usually the most annoying, “Allah will ignore those people on the Day of Judgement, who ignore Him in this world!”

          What sort of emotional blackmailing is this? I feel irritated.

          In answer to most messages, I usually hit Delete or if it is from a close friend, I reply, “Sorry, I won’t forward this! Because I feel that this is no criteria to prove my love for Allah or the Prophet PBUH”. And if it is a Hadith or an incident from the history of Islam, I demand “Are you sure this is authentic, if so please let me know the source”.

          The huge strides in communication technology have changed our lives completely and deprived us to some extent of our privacy! Today we text more than we talk, use our cell phones (Whatssapp, VChat etc) and social medias like Face book and Twitters more than we interact with people, even if some of them live within our walking distance. But although this has made life easier (or should I say lazier) there are many irritants to these luxuries also. Unwanted messages at the wrong time, posts on Face book by contacts who keep on insisting (in the name of love for Allah) that I forward whatever they are sending in, always frustrate me!

          Why should I prove my love for Allah and His Prophet PBUH by forwarding messages about Quran and Hadith, which I am not even sure are reliable? Is this the criteria to prove that I am a good Muslim? In my opinion this is definitely not so!

          I ignore the call of the Muazzin when he is calling for Salaat, I do not help the needy, pay Zakaat or perform Hajj although I am filthy rich; I lie and cheat, disobey my parents, I am rude to the elderly and unkind to children, forget about a promise a few minutes after I have made it, but because I forward these (unauthentic) messages, I can safely presume that I have booked my place in Paradise!

          Sigh! If only the path to Jannah was only about hitting a forward key or sharing a post on Facebook! But alas, it is not!

          If I practice the teachings of Islam, fear Allah, follows the teachings of the Holy Quran and the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, strictly try to adhere with the compulsory acts every Muslim has to practice, (i.e Eemaan, Namaaz, Roza, Zakaat and Hajj), try to understand what the message of the Holy Quran is and practice the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad PBUH, I think I have sent the message through louder and clearer!  

         

 

Drama In Islamabad!!

          I feel angry today, disturbed, ashamed, disappointed and a bit amused too! The weird drama in Islamabad, the way a man, a woman and two children kept the capital on hold, and the manner our security personnel handled the situation has again made Pakistan a laughing stock for the world. 

          And our media, our TV channels licking their lips in delight, reported the whole incident minute to minute! For six long hours! I am no television buff, and had just switched on the idiot box to check out on the weather conditions in Lahore, I was worried because my son and his family were scheduled to reach there from Murree and the rumour was that the roads in Lahore were flooded! (This proved to be wrong as I came to know later).

          There was no news about the rains in Punjab but all channels were covering the Islamabad incident and the drama had started only a few minutes ago! Glued to the Television, I kept on watching in surprise as the police and Commandos were being shown keeping a distance from the car. The woman and children in the car were first reported to be held hostage by the man who started the whole drama by firing wildly in the air. And this was the Blue area of Islamabad, the area with the highest security as all important venues i.e the Prime Minister House, National Assembly, Supreme Court of Pakistan are stuated in this locality.

          In sheer disgust, I kept on posting updates on FaceBook and here I would like to share them with my readers. Although I cannot state for sure what was the exact time but it all started at around 6 in the evening!

OMG….. Police have surrounded the car in the Blue Area Islamabad from which an unknown man fired wildly in the air…I wonder what the police is waiting for!

The car was snatched from a nearby area n there is also a burqa clad woman in the car…hostage or accomplice? The police hv still no clue..Allah reham kare, Ameen

  • The body language of the woman is V suggestive…she hardly looks panicked or nervous as she took something out from the car’s trunk
  •  

Bhaaiyon!!!! Car k tyre hi puncture kar do fire kar ke!!!

 

Two kids in the car Too!!!

My notion was right…….!!!!! the woman claims to be the wife of the man in the car plus the two children are their kids!!! 

 Aaj TVdekhein…I am sure Geo wala will also b enjoying this breaking news…but can not switch channels now…the situation is too weird!!   

Our police keeps on bringing shame to the whole nation!! And the TV channels are having a great time!! All claiming to be the first to report this drama!!I am feeling like a reporter at the moment but cant stop myself from commenting!! Sharamnaak situation!!! Look at the way the woman is coming n going conveying demands! 

Hikmat e amli ki tafseelat bhee bata dee mulzimon ki Sahulat k lye!!! I think these people have never heard of GPRS!!!Humari helpless police bechaari!!! Police dept should be dissolved…the law of the jungle is good enough for us!!!! Both of the miscreants were far enough from their car but still the police didn’t dare to overpower them! 

7.30 PM….I am  getting late for Maghrib.. have to take a short break now! 

High level Drama in Islamabad!!! Baghair ticket enjoy karein!!!  

Latest on Islamabad drama….aap sab ko mubarak ho!! Police ne musslaah shaks ki giraftaari ki tayyaari mukammil kar lee!!!! 

Islamabad Drama smells fishy from Miles!!!! How come no action has been taken although it is already dark?

Easy load for the culprit’s cell by the POLICE…how sweet of them!!

Bachon ko Pizza khana hai!! SSP Operations se naya mutalba!!! Its only my notion: P 

Operation ki tayyaryaan Mukammil!!! Bas anesthetist ka intezar hai!!

I couldn’t stop myself from Re tweeting this!

  •  A Good Soldier (@Soldier_pk):
    One thing is certain, all vehicles carrying families will face extra scrutiny at police barriers, thanks to Sikandar ‪#‎BlueA
  • My Tweet…
  • Media personal manhandled! Kumhar pe bas na chala gadhia ke kaan amethe!‪#‎Bluearea ‪#‎islamabad d security forces hs brought d nation 2 shame!!

          The nation is waiting for the drama to end! First it was being suggested by our TV channels that the security personal are waiting for the dark! But on second thoughts, I feel they have decided to wait for the Sun to rise!

          9.30 PM…After this post, I had to be pull myself away from the television as I had to go to a dinner. After exchanging pleasantries with my hostess, I requested her to switch on the TV. The drama was just ending, I could see the PPP leader Zamurrud Khan pouncing on the man and the later, as if taken by surprise, falling down and being overpowered by our brave Commandos!

(I guess Zamurrud Khan will be given Hilal e jurrat for his bravery!!)

        12.30….It is being reported that the gunman has been taken to the PIMS Hospital and is undergoing emergency surgery as he has been shot in the stomach and leg! I only wonder why this couldn’t have been done earlier!

          Frustration and shame has become the lot of the common Pakistani nobodies like me! Helpless, surprised, disappointed and angry at the (mis) performance of our police, rangers and most of all the so called Commandos we just watched the ongoing drama in sheer disgust!

The security personal seemed helpless, spineless and confused! We, the patriotic Pakistanis, demand an immediate explanation! Why were we made the laughing stock for the world once more! For Heaven’s sake, don’t hurt our pride again and again in this manner! We love this country and want it to rise from the dust… and shine!

Long live Pakistan!!

 

 

 

 

 

WHO IS TO BE BLAMED?

This is an edited version of an article published in The Financial Daily

 

WHO IS TO BLAME?

 

Independence Day is approaching yet another time. Yesterday I had a sudden idea and impulsive that I am, decided to implement it at once. Throughout the year, we are busy celebrating birthdays and anniversaries. Why not have an Independence day party? Happily I started to call close family members but I was a bit confused at the reaction of the young generation, who seemed to decline my invitation politely at one pretext or another.

I called Sohail, my nephew, on his cell many times and on not getting a response rang him at his office. “What’s wrong, Sohail? Why are you not attending to your cell? And no one is receiving the phone at home?” “Oh, Auntie, my cell has been snatched a third time and I simply can not afford to go on buying mobile phones for muggers.” Sohail’s tone was very cross. “Shazia has gone to her parents with the kids. We have no electricity and so no water for the last two days. How could she manage with the children with no water in this heat?”

Warily I told Sohail about the party. “Come on Auntieji, you must be joking! What is there to celebrate about anyway? Insecurity?  Power failures? Corruption? Suicide bombers blowing up innocent people whenever and wherever they want? Or the sky-rocketing cost of living which is making a respectable difficult day by day? What has Pakistan given us anyway? Please excuse me Auntie, I shall rather stay at home and catch up on my sleep”.

Sohail continued in an angry tone, “I simply see no logical reason left for celebrating the Independence Day. Though we have got a homeland but still we have no freedom. We have to free ourselves from the shackles of religious extremism, poverty, illiteracy, greed and corruption before calling ourselves a free nation and planning any celebrations. The struggle for independence is not over yet!”

 Sohail’s outburst helped me to understand why the people of his generation were not showing any interest in my party. They all belonged to a disenchanted and disappointed generation which had seen Pakistan going on the downwards slide, year by year! Although I tried my best to convince Sohail, his arguments were so strong and he seemed so agitated, I decided to talk to him later.

I was born in an age when the people who had strived, suffered and sacrificed for the sake of independence were all around, so I felt deeply disturbed at the frustration of our new generation. In those days Patriotism was the order of the day and our parents never tired of telling us true stories about the Pakistan movement. Precious lives were lost, ancestral homes and properties were left behind but no one considered this a price too heavy for Independence. I vividly remember my mother shedding tears when she talked about Mohammed Ali Jinnah or Liaqat Ali Khan! Love for Pakistan seemed to be in the blood and everyone seemed proud to call himself a Pakistani.

I can still remember how enthusiastically we celebrated 14th August at school. The principal hoisted the national flag and gave a short speech stressing on the importance of independence and love for one’s Homeland.  As we fervourly recited the National Anthem in a chorus, it was a proud moment and the fluttering green flag never ceased to bring tears to my eyes. Sweets were distributed among the children and all of us were as happy as if it was Eid.

Sohail’s questions brought a rush of guilt to my heart. What is the reason behind this change in emotions? Have we failed to transfer this love for Pakistan to our next generation? Did we take independence for granted and did not strive enough to pass on its importance to their young minds. Or is it our poor and inept education system which is to blame.

Today our young generation has but a fleeting knowledge of the hardships faced during the movement for Pakistan, something which they have learned in the dull and drab books on Pakistan Studies! These books also keep changing with the advent of every new ruler who want the syllabus to suit his whims, trying to write a new history after every few years.

Or should we blame the greedy and incapable politicians, who are too busy filling their pockets (which are already bursting at the seams), to care for the peace and prosperity of Pakistan?

Our country is rich enough in resources. But whose purpose does it serve to keep them untapped and underutilized? Job opportunities which can be created but are not, the rain water which can do wonders for our agricultural lands but instead floods and destroy standing crops, the beautiful valleys were no tourists dare to visit due to fear of the so called religious extremist, growing unemployment and a steep rise in the inflation level are only a few reasons of the causes leading to the frustration of our young generation. These and many other such thoughts kept troubling me as I lay awake in the darkness of the night.

The next morning I called Sohail again, “Whether you come or not, I am celebrating 14th August according to my plans. You asked me many questions yesterday. The only question I have to ask you is ‘What have “We” given to Pakistan’? Nobody from the Heavens will come to change our lot. It is our choice, either we sit in our drawing rooms, sipping tea and blaming each other for our failures, or firmly resolve to strive and sacrifice, step by step, for the prosperity of Pakistan”.

I SHALL LIVE ON!

A proud day for me today! My grandaughter has finished school with a grand result! May Allah bless her and all my grandchildren…today and always! Ameen

Yasmin Elahi

I SHALL LIVE ON!

          My three year old grand daughter came running into my arms, not taking the trouble to remove her unruly curls which streamed down to her sparkling eyes. My sister who had come from abroad after many years remarked laughingly, “Why! Your grand daughter is just like you. Just see how she tosses her head naughtily to remove her locks from her eyes as she peeps from behind them. I just hope she has not inherited your temper”, she said in a teasing tone. On any other occasion, I would not have tolerated such a remark and immediately picked up an argument with my sister, insisting that I was not as bad tempered as she was suggesting! But as she was comparing me to my grand daughter, which in itself was a big compliment for me, I chose to ignore her comments.

As a grandmother, I…

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MERE EHSAAS KO SHEESHA NA BANAAYA HOTA!!

My Selection of verses from Urdu Shairi… friends can send in their favourites too, I would be delighted to post in this blog!

Yasmin Elahi

This blog is open to all! Please inbox me (on Facebook) your favourites and I shall keep on updating this blog. Just for the love of Urdu Shairi!!

06-02-2015

Umar-e-rawaan khizaan ki hawa se bhi taiz thi,
Har lamha Barg-e-zard ki soorat bikhar gaya,

Dil mai cheekhte huwe wehmon k bojh se,
Wo khaof tha k raat ko soate mai darr gaya,

Jo baat motbar thi wo sar se guzar gai,
Jo harf sar’sari tha wo dil me utar gaya,

Hum aks-e-khoon-e-dil hi luttatei phirei magar,
Wo shakhs aanso’on ki dhanak mai nikhar gaya,

“Mohsin” ye rang-o-roop ye ronaq baja mgar,
Main zinda kya rahoun ke mera ji tou marr gaya…!

———————————————————————————-

Apnei bhee khafa mujh se haen beigaane bhee nakhush 

Mein zehr- e-halaahal ko kabhee keh naa sakaa qand!

27-04-2014

Yaad rakhna humaari turbat ko

Qarz tum pe hai chaar phhoolon ka!

——————————————————

Hum se taabeer e khwaab poochte…

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A PEN FOR YOUR THOUGHTS..an old article in the Young World

Most of us think that writing an article is a very difficult task. I also had the same opinion, that is, until I decided to try my hand on it.

It is true that some people have a natural talent for writing. They can raise their pen on any given topic and express themselves beautifully, while others have to struggle with words to make their concepts clear. But creative writing is not as complex as we think it to be. We only need to have an idea about the required guidelines and keep on practicing, because we all know that practice makes a man perfect.

To create a good piece of writing, you must first choose your area of interest. You are bound to write better on topics which are appealing for you. Use a very catchy title, one which draws attention as well as gives the reader an idea about what you want to write about. You can also choose your title or heading after you have finished writing as it is only then that you will have an idea of what you have produced with your pen.

Organise your thoughts and pen down the facts you already know. For further information, check out on the internet, but be sure to surf more than one website. By browsing on different websites you will be able to find out which one has more authentic facts and figures.

If your school has a library or you have an access to one in your neighbourhood, you can also read books on the relevant topic and note down important information. To be a good writer, you must cultivate a reading habit. Reading a lot keeps you more informed, improves your vocabulary as well as gives you new ideas about writing.

Keep a pen and paper handy, even by your side when you go to bed. Ideas and notions often come in a flash in the most unexpected moments. Don’t rely on your memory, as these ideas may slip away as easily.

Sometimes we grope for subjects to write about, so when inspiration strikes, scribble it quickly in your notebook. You can also make a list of topics you want to write about and then keep working on them.

Give time to your idea. It is not always advisable to start writing as soon as you chose a topic. Think about it for a few days and keeping noting the supporting points which come to your mind. In this way you will not struggle to complete a piece after you have started it.

Reread an article many times before you send it to a publication. Often, we tend to overlook small spelling or grammar mistakes. Rearranging or adding a few words here and there may add to the value of your writing. According to Mark Twain, “The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you
begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say!”

Every article should be divided into three distinct parts. Start with a good introduction, so that the reader can understand what you are writing about. Remember that the first few sentences are very important. If your opening is interesting, the reader would like to continue, but if it is dull and drab, he would skip it and move on to some other story in the magazine.

The middle part of an article usually gives information and facts and figures about the topic you have chosen. The conclusion should be interesting as you logically wind up your article in a way that the reader can understand your point of view and relate to it.

Keep your word count under control and try to be precise! Repetition always tends to bore and sometimes even irritate, so try to get your point through in a crisp manner.

Keep your language simple. A short article written in simple language is more interesting than a long one in which you have used difficult language and uncommon words. Remember that no one likes to reach out for a dictionary while reading, because it breaks the tempo and pace of the topic.

Let your imagination go wild! Experiment by using different styles until you develop a distinct style which becomes your identity. There will be times when you feel stuck and are unable to finish a piece you have started. Instead of trying to force words and thinking hard, just do something that you find refreshing. Go for a walk, play your favourite game
or just relax for a while. More often than not, you will find fresh ideas rushing to your mind.

Use quotes by famous authors or relevant persons. They add to the value of a piece of writing.

You can start your writing career by contributing for your school magazine and then go on to the children’s magazines of most newspapers. Don’t be disheartened if your writings are rejected. You may not succeed in the beginning but hard work and perseverance eventually pays. A winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, short story writer Isaac Bashevis Singer says, “The waste basket is a writer’s best friend”.

A writer who chooses to remain anonymous, says, “The best compliment I have received is from a fan who said, Once I start reading your article, it is difficult for me to put it down before I reach the last word”.

This, in my opinion, is the best description yet for a good piece of writing.